I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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