What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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