Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
