please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
