Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I forget how to act sober
Randomize