so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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