why didn't you poke me back
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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