Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
