haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
