someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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