I feel great
I just peed on a car
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize