just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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