i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize