I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Randomize
