omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.