Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday