Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina