you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm