At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
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I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.