i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion