if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
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She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
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So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.