Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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