he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
