They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
