What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
