I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
