she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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