it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
