he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
