Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
