yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
