Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
