My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
