We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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