Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
