Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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