PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize