the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Someone came in the potted fern
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
