i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
