Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
