Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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