my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
