I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
