Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
please come you make the beer taste better
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
