hotel room ftw
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
