I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
