he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
