No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
