So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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