I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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