youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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