I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
