May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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