It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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