In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
