i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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