you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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