the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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