So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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