why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
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Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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