You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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